See recently, my Fiancee and I have decided to get a puppy. A cute, commercial product selling, advertisers dream, of grey fur and rainbows. Seriously that cute. Testosterone down one point. Seeing as he is a mutt, my saving hope is that he is part killer wolf mixed with a little "Ill rip your throat out at my masters command". Long term investment, if true, Testosterone market could go up as high as five points. But I digress...
As we are getting ready for the yet to be named puppy, obviously we need to stock up and kit this soon to be bad mofo up. So, being the Mr. Recycle that I am, I decided I was going to use a sweet piece of Maxpedition gear I had from a previous deployment, pictured immediately below. This bag is to be used as what my Fiancee refers to as,"his doggy bag". This is wrong. Its his "GO BAG". We fight a lot about the future of the puppy. Anyways, so here is below picture:
Now keep in mind, this bag used to carry some useful pieces of bad ass destruction and gear all in service of the US Government. This bag has seen three wars, serious sand, and serious dirt goblins. Previously, this bag carried all sorts of instruments that could be official classified as to "lighting your ass on fire", causing mayhem and destruction, and "bringing down the fiery rain of the red, white, and fing blue". But most importantly, it carried goddamn FREEDOM.
But as I am now unemployed, and have no further official capacity to or in any way legally able to call down the thunder and lighting of Justice and the American Way, I decided to save money (savings to be used later to buy some man dignity back) and reuse this sweet sweet tactical bag as the puppy's "GO BAG".
I think I have made a grave mistake.
Whereas the bag carried the above listed Testosterone boosting tools of ManBadAssNess, the bag now carries:
-Soft and Chewy Buddy Beef Biscuits
-Terrabone Edible Dental Chew Bones
-Omega Paw Treat ball (bright, highlighter pink)
-Mutt Mitt (so I can pick up the lesser intelligent animal's poo. Much like a welfare state or democrat policies)
-Go Dog Pink Dinosaur toy
The bag now looks like this:
So, does employing a previously used tactical bag as my puppy's "GO BAG" and calling said bag a "GO BAG" represent reclamation of some manhood? Does this enhance my puppy's standing at the dog park that his owner has a fashionable accessory that can go from war zone to dog park, all ready to wear? Or have I simply applied a band aid to my testoersone's sucking chest wound and given estrogen the battle disgracing my oh so badass bag of American awesomeness and destruction?
To be determined...
